i could write it better than you ever felt it
by freshia
Summary: Award-winning novelist Levi Ackerman has big writer's block and big characterization issues on his newest novel. Good thing his protagonist Eren Yeager has quite literally jumped from the page to real life. They always did say, "write what you know".
1. just off the key of reason

"It's… Good."

Levi drums his fingers on top of the bar as Hange slides the small stack of papers across the table with an elusive smile. But Levi knows Hange- probably too well for his own good- and that look in their eyes never has and probably never will spell anything "good" for him. He considers not asking, but if anyone could be brutally honest while still being cheerful about it, it was Hange- so he does anyway.

"_Good_?"

They sigh, leaning back in the stool before waving the bartender back over to order anottheir drink. "Yeah, good. Oh- come on, Levi, don't give me that look." Hange arranges the scattered papers, waving them in front of his face before he swats it away. "Listen, it really was good. Your writing is always good. Once you wade through the spelling issues and bad handwriting—which is my job, anyway—the plot really draws you in. Refreshing, creative, everything someone looks for in a novel."

Levi sucks in a breath, shoving the papers back into his laptop case. "So what's the issue then? Just _good_? What's dragging it down, Hange, and don't tell me nothin-."

"Your characters suck."

Blunt as always. Levi _tsks _and opens his mouth to respond, but Hange holds a hand up. "No, no, wait. Listen to me for a second, editor to writer."

"You can do better than this. _Everyone _knows you can do better than this, Mr. National Best Seller. I know it's hard to live up to that. The pressure was what caused your writer's block in the first pl-"

"I told you, I'm over it."

"Of course you are. I gathered as much from that rough draft—Oh thank you, that was fast." They pause to sip at the neon green ooze from the glass. Levi doesn't break his gaze.

"Levi, look. What you just showed me? It was good! It was! But it wasn't _Levi _good."

He must have looked disgruntled then, because Hange shoves their hand into his face again to stop any retort.

"I know it was an early draft, and I know how self conscious you are of those. But after bugging you for a week just for that manuscript, I just wanted you to know what I really thought!"

Levi folds his arms primly and gives them a flat look as they continue.

"You could have replaced the characters with wooden planks and it wouldn't have made much of a difference. You're working with living, breathing, _feeling _humans. Give them character! Personality! Fears! Hopes!" They cry, hands flailing wildly. "Write people as, well, people! Not just words on paper."

His face stays stoic. "So inject a few sentences to describe them better, is what you're saying."

"Mmph!" Hange shoves a pointer finger in his face as they empty the glass. "No, Levi, No! You're missing the – Hey could you bring me another one of these? And give me one of those paper umbrellas, a pink one! – You're missing the point!" Hange turns to Levi and clasps their hands in their lap, pondering slowly past the slowly thickening haze of alcohol.

"Now, you _might _kill me if I say this..."

"Then don't say it." He suggests, staring at the brunette who was toying with the pink umbrella of their refilled drink. "And you should really go easy on the alcohol, Hange, because I'm not peeling your ass off of the pavement again."

A snort. "Actually, this one's for you, because you _need_ it." They insistently slide the drink toward him, grinning. "Also, I'm going to say it anyway. Because I care. Anyway-"

"I swear to god, Hange, if you say '_don't tell, show_' or any variation-"

"Three pages of purple prose isn't going to make the character more real, Levi." They declare decidedly. "And three _books_ of purple prose just make the Twilight trilogy." Levi snorts into the limey concoction as Hange concludes. "So yeah. _Don't tell, show_."

Levi lets out a frustrated groan, picking the glass up and taking a long drink before slamming the empty glass back down. "I fucking hate you. Now I'm _really _not helping peel you off the pavement if you get sloshed."

"Aww, Levi, your mean words… They hurt so good…!"

He gives them a slight shove, almost hard enough to knock them off the stool. "Knock it off, freakshow, before I leave you here _with _the tab. I've heard that piece of advice at least a million fucking times."

"Ouch! Oh, Levi, after everything I've done for you? You wound me so." In a span of a blink, the playful grin drops back down into a serious gaze as they furrow their eyebrows. "Seriously, though. If you've heard it so many times, then you know exactly what you need to do."

"Yeah, yeah." Levi slaps some money down and stands up. "I gotta drive back home, so I'm heading out of here before you buy me more drinks." he pauses for a minute, fishing his keys out of his slacks. "... Thanks for your help. If you need a ride, call me."

They salute him. "Just another day as the best editor in the world! Also, I think I'll be fine. I'm leaving after this."

He frowns, but starts toward the door anyway. "If you're sure. I'll fix the writing up and call you whenever."

"Have fun!"

"_Don't I always_?"

x

His notebook is open the second he gets home, as he heads straight for his desk and hunches over the paper. His pen is scribbling so fast over the lined paper that he wonders for a moment if even Hange would be able to read the writing, before his mind is blank again except for the image of his characters.

_Wooden planks_. He thinks ruefully. He honestly hadn't been that focused on the characters, and apparently it showed. The plot, the plot, the plot - He toils through the familiar steps. He sets the stage, paints the backdrop, hangs the fucking moon in the sky. The plot, the plot _the plot_. He hammers the foundation in place, throws on the lights, and tears the red curtains apart to reveal, at last, a towering castle with its insurmountable walls that hide the most despicable of corruption. He exposes the sins of the insignificant creatures, and smites them as he goes. He is their God, their almighty Creator! He thinks, as his fingers still and the pencil stops its mad scribbling.

He is nothing but a puppeteer of _wooden planks_.

_Write people as, well, people_! Humans, he seethed, just his luck that he was born a species he was never too fond of. He wasn't a recluse, by any means. He had parties to go to, interviews, book signings. But everyone there was background noise. He's never been known for being friendly or welcoming, and he intends to keep it that way. It's worked all this time, hasn't it? If anything, his cold personality boosted his popularity. _Mysterious_, they called him.

_Don't tell, show_. If he's heard it once, he's heard it a million times, just as every other writer has. But real people were complex, harder to force to life. How many people could he say he truly knew? He counts them on one calloused hand. Isabel, Farlan, Hange. Erwin. Sort of. Who else?

He doesn't dwell on it for too long. If complexity is what Hange wants, complexity is what they'd get. Starting with the main character. He had brown hair, green eyes, before. But now... _Fiery _green eyes, filled with passion. Messy brown hair, constantly drawn in eyebrows that seemed overly thick. Personality…

No more generic hero. A kid with black-and-white morality. Not evil, but not purehearted, but not...

Not…

Again, the pencil halts.

Another roadblock. Another frustrated sigh, because the image is _already _leaving. What he has sitting in front of him is just a bunch of messy notes, appearance and background and personality- with personality being the least written in.

He's stuck, like he _always_ is when it comes to complex characters.

Levi Ackerman, New York Times bestsellings author, lays his head down on his paper in frustration, and sleeps.

x

"Hello, uh.. Sir…"

Levi grunts, shifting slightly. The image was leaving him again, just a few more seconds and he'd have it captured-

"You're drooling on your writing, dude."

With an annoyed noise, Levi lifts his head up from the desk and wipes the thread of spit from his mouth. Just who the fuck was waking him up-

In… His house.

The realization of a stranger standing near him is enough to jolt him into consciousness, blood running cold and pumping all too fast simultaneously. He flicks his eyes to the side fast enough to just to determine the position of the person-

And he attacks. He kicks the chair back and ducks, right leg sweeping to knock the intruder down quickly. He moves quickly. The other person has just enough time to land with a loud thump and a rough "Ow!" before Levi pounces on him, slamming the intruder's head into the tiles and pinning his hands to his back.

"What the _hell-_"

"Who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my house."

Levi's voice is still thick with sleep as he hisses at the other man. Boy. The intruder can't be older than twenty, he thinks. All he gets as a response is a low groan.

"Answer me!" He commands, squeezing the pinned wrists tighter.

"_Ow, ow, ow ow _– **Fuck** – I don't know!"

"You don't know _who you are_?" Levi grits his teeth, eyeing the phone sitting on the desk. If he just knocked this idiot out…

"No, no! I know who I am, but I don't know- Ouch, _shit_! I don't know what I'm doing here! I don't even know where _here_ is, asshole!"

"Wow, you sound so convincing." Cheeky shit. "Name. Before I knock you out and call the cops."

"Ugh- Eren! Eren Yeager."

The name catches him off-guard, surprises him so much that he releases Eren's wrists and watches as he snatches them back, rubbing them while scuttling off and staring at Levi like _he's _the psycho who just broke in. Levi narrows his eyes, standing up.

"Did Hange put you up to this?"

"_Who_?"

He clicks his tongue, annoyed. "Listen, kid, I don't know how much they paid you but you can deliver the message that their practical joke is 'not funny' and that I'm going to kick their ass."

The pure confusion in his eyes suddenly makes Levi doubt his own theory. Staring at Eren again, he slowly rises to his feet and reaches for his phone, never taking his eyes off of the other, even as he dials Hange's number.

Within a few rings they pick up, and Levi growls into the phone. "Hange, this isn't fucking funny."

"What, calling me at 9am on a Sunday when I'm trying to sleep off a hangover? _Agreed_."

"No, you douchecanoe, this fucking actor you sent to my house." A pointed glare has Eren shrinking even further back than before. "I probably injured him, too, so you're paying for those bills."

There's a pause on the other end of the phone before they speak again. "Levi, I have no idea what you're talking about. Are you okay?"

Levi grips the phone, scowling. "... You didn't send anyone to my house?"

"Oh, Levi, have you finally lost it? Do you need me to come over? Because I can make an emergency trip, just let me take some Advil-"

"No, I… I need to go."

"Le-"

_Click_.

Eren gives him a dirty look. "I told you nobody sent me here."

"Then how the _fuck did you get in_?" the phone is still in his hands, he could call the police at any time.

"How should I fucking know? I was just… here!" the brown haired boy snaps, finally rising to his feet. Levi finally takes in his features- Messy brown hair, fiery green eyes, thicker eyebrows slightly arched in-

He can't help himself as the next words slip out.

"Do you have a sister?"

The question seems to catch Eren off-guard, taking the scowl off of his face. "I… Yeah? Kind of, anyway... Oh, do you know Mikasa?"

Levi sucks in a breath, gripping the office chair. He looks back at Eren, pinches himself, blinks three times. _And he was still there_.

"This is it. Isabel always said my imagination was going to literally drive me insane one of these days. _This is it_. They're going to check me into a hospital."

"... Are you alright?"

Levi closes his eyes. "You are a figment of my imagination. Go away."

"You _sure_? I feel pretty real, myself."

"Yes, I'm sure! Look-" he turns around to grab the notebook he was writing on, holding it up in front of Eren's face. "At this."

Eren squints, reaching out to hold it. "Uh… I… Is this even English?"

Levi snorts, snatching it back. "Some part of me you are, you can't even read my handwriting."

"Stop saying that, it's kind of freaking me out."

"_Oh_, freaking _you _out-"

He doesn't have time to finish the sentence, as Hange bursts through the door, looking slightly out of breath. When they lift their head back up to say something, they pause, eyes flicking back and forth between Levi and Eren.

"... Were you drunker than I remember, Levi? Bringing someone home last night..." They straighten themselves up, smiling wide. Levi scowls.

"_What_? No. And wipe that weird look off your face about that, that's-"

He pauses, as the realization that Hange just acknowledged Eren hits him.

"... You can see him?"

"Of course, why? Or.. Oh, do you want me to pretend like I didn't see anything? Of course, of course, your little night together can stay under wraps." They wink at Eren, and he returns a slightly weirded out look back.

"Stop- Stop assuming that! Nothing happened last night." He retorts loudly, his voice cracking like he was thirteen all over again. Hange turns and just stares at his outburst. He sighs. "So he's real. Fuck."

Hange smirks again. "Wow, must have been one _vivid _dream-"

"No more sex jokes Hange. _Enough_." he warns, and they fall silent. "... I'm going to tell you something, and you're not going to believe me."

"Try me." they say, rocking back on their heels. He rolls his eyes.

"I think I made him up. I wrote him."

Their eyes flicker back toward Eren for a moment, before softening. "I know I said some harsh things about your characterization last night, but Levi…"

He gives an irritated sigh. "I told you you wouldn't believe me. Eren, introduce yourself."

Eren's eyes widen, hesitant. "Uh…"

Levi pinches the bridge of his nose. "Just do it. Or else I _will _call the police and report a breaking and entering." It's a lie, but it seems to do the trick. Slowly, Eren turns toward Hange.

"I'm Eren Yeager, 18 years old. I uh.. Don't know how I got here."

It's a lame introduction, but seems to do the trick. Hange freezes, face impassive for a few minutes before turning toward Levi with a deathly serious tone in their voice. "Is he _real_?"

"Would I have called you, asking if you hired him earlier if he _wasn't_?"

They stare at him for a few more minutes, gauging his seriousness, before a wide smile breaks out on their face.

"Levi, this is…"

"Really weird, I know-"

"So cool! I always knew you had a special talent, but this, this is something _else_!" They pounced across the room toward Eren, faster than Levi could even do anything. Grasping his hand, they shook it and beamed. "It's so nice to be able to meet you, Eren! I knew Levi had it in him to create a realistic person. He took it so far above and beyond though!"

Eren looks caught between laughing and running, and Levi watches distantly, as though everything was happening in slow motion. It was like a train going 200 miles too fast off a cliff. But worse.

They release his hand, leaning closer to completely invade his personal space. "And wow! Every last detail is great. Perfect, even. See, Levi? This isn't just 'good', this is _amazing_! You're… You're like a God! You _created_ him!"

The uncanny sense of déjà vu doesn't have time to sink in when Levi notices Eren gaping at him.

"Father?" He whispers

"_What?"_ Levi squawks

"You've changed so –"

"Wow Levi, I know you were secretive about your past, but an illegitimate child, that's – "

"No. Stop talking. Both of you".

Levi sinks down into his chair and _thinks. _Was it the voodoo lady he flipped off last week? The drink he had last night? This kid - unless someone had somehow gotten a hold of his writing and was impersonating the character - was the same one he wrote down on paper, down to the very clothes he was wearing. He was _exactly _as he had pictured him inside his head.

What the hell was going on?

Levi glances back to Hange and Eren, the latter looking a lot more freaked out than before. With a sigh, he grabs Hange by the ponytail and pulls them back.

"Editor-Author meeting. Now."

Hange sends an apologetic glance towards Eren as Levi drags them off, to which Eren only looks relieved. Just before completely disappearing, Levi pauses and says, "Don't go anywhere."

Eren gives him a shrug. "Where would I go?"

Levi squints at him. "I don't care. Don't leave this room."

Once he's sure they're a decent distance away, Levi releases the other and scowls. "What the fuck do we do with him?"

Hange gives him a nonchalant shrug. "Keep him around the house. You could use more friends anyway."

Levi smacks a hand on the counter with frustration. "'_Keep him around the house_?' He's a teenager, Hange! A barely legal adult, not a fucking poodle!"

They give him a flat look. "Are you going to send him on the street, Levi? I bet he doesn't have a dime to his name. And if he's from the time period of your story," they intone "he won't get further than the elevator before he starts panicking". When Levi doesn't respond, Hange simply grins. "_Besides, _this place is too huge for just you. It won't hurt to have someone else around."

"I don't want to be a _babysitter_."

They sigh and roll their eyes. "Fine then, there's a cafe down the street that's hiring. He can work there, and pay you rent. Think of it more like a roommate, if you have to. … Do you think you could make more of them?"

Levi stares. "Oh god, you've finally snapped."

"Don't be like that! Eren has a sister, right? And that rival of his- you had a lot of characters, actually, they were just dull as all get-out. This could be great for your writing, Levi!"

"Am I going to run a petting zoo of teenagers here then? I don't even know how I got him! Or maybe, wait, maybe…"

"What? What? Tell me!"

"I did this really detailed paper, outlining his personality, background, and appearance last night." Levi groans, running a hand through his hair. "Think maybe if I ripped up that paper I could get rid of him?"

"Don't!" Hange puts their hands out in front of them, shaking their head. "I'm telling you, this will do wonders for your writers block. Also it's… Kind of cruel, don't you think? To just take away his consciousness when he's obviously real?"

He sighs, irritated. "This is your fault, you know."

"It'll be fun, trust me."

x

"I'm going to let you stay here."

After Hange was gone, Levi finally finds himself trying to talk to Eren alone, this time without thinking that one of them was either crazy or a burglar. Eren simply scowls at the statement, crossing his arms.

"So long as you don't try to smother me in my sleep"

Levi decides to ignore that and continues "You have amnesia, right? No recollection of what happened or where you are?"

Eren is silent, averting his gaze. Levi nods once.

"Well,. I don't mind sharing this big ass house with you, but there are a couple of conditions." when he gets no response, Levi continues, numbering them off with his fingers.

"Number one: Clean up after yourself. It's the most important rule. See how clean this house is?" he gestures around as Eren's eyes flit around the room. "That's how clean it's _going_to stay. Number two: There's a cafe down the street hiring right now. Tomorrow, I want you to go apply there so you have something to do. When people hang around, they make a mess. You need to get out of the house and my hair sometimes. Number three: Stay out of my way when I'm writing. That's literally it, can you follow that?"

A curt nod from Eren gives him his answer. He slumps back in the chair, releasing a sigh. "Fuck, what a day."

"... Did you really make me up?"

This catches Levi's attention again. He frowns. "Huh?"

"Did you really make me up? _Everything_ about me? My friends, Armin, Mikasa, even Jean… None of it's real? Nobody?"

_Shit_. The crestfallen look on Eren's face is almost painful. Levi looks down at his hands as he answers.

"Yeah. They're all-including you-part of a book I was working on. Characters, specifically."

"So you know everything about me?"

"Technically."

Eren is quiet for a moment, and Levi thinks maybe he's going to try and leave anyway. But finally, he speaks up again. "So everything I know is a lie. I don't even _have _friends."

When Levi doesn't answer, Eren stands up from the couch and stretches. "Uh, sorry. You said my bedroom was the first one on the right?"

"Yeah. Across the hall from the bathroom."

Eren nods. "Cool, thanks. I'm gonna go to sleep early, I think. See you tomorrow. Night... Levi."

Once he's down the hallway and Levi hears the door click, he lets out a sigh, staring at the notebook and pen on his desk warily. Man, what the _fuck _was he thinking?

"... Goodnight, Eren."

x

Mikasa Yeager, he writes, and then stops.

Mikasa _Ackerman_.

He takes a deep breath.

"Standing at 5'6, the first thing you might notice about her is a worn, red scarf around her neck…"

He toils through the familiar steps.

* * *

**A/N**: buckle up friends we're in for a _ride_.

as always, thank you teajing at tumblr for being an amazing beta and inserting in the funny, hilarious shit you do.


	2. the girl all the boys want to dance with

When he wakes up in the morning, nothing happens.

There's no sword-toting teenage girl in sight, and Levi's not sure why he isn't immediately comforted by this fact. He first thinks of Hange, and grabs his phone from the bedside, groggily sending a text through sleep-hazed eyes. "_Experiment was a fluke, nothing happened_." he types, before slumping back onto the mattress.

It's a small relief to know that his house isn't about to be potentially destroyed by a flock of hormonal teens, he thinks. Yet there's a nagging fragment of memory that remains from the night before.

"_None of it is real? Nobody?__"_

He flops over and a wave of guilt washes over his pleasant mood.

"_I don't even _have _friends.__"_

He did this, he thinks, suddenly feeling like Frankenstein. What on earth had he done? Levi stands up and locks his notebook in the only drawer in his desk that required a key, along with his pencil.

Just for good measure.

Putting those thoughts aside, Levi goes through his daily routine of mentally listing his tasks. Eren needs suitable clothes to wear to his interview in the afternoon. He definitely won't fit into Levi's neatly pressed Armani, and Levi wonders if Hange still has the old suit that they wore to the last book signing event.

Just then, a sleepy teen shuffles past his room, looking vaguely like he had stepped out of a _Little House on the Prairie_ shooting.

… Regardless of how quaint the shop was, they probably wouldn't dig the rustic _I-call-my-parents-ma-and-pa_ look.

"Eren."

The green eyed boy shuffles back, obviously very comfortable in the fluffy bedroom slippers Levi left in the guest room His mouth is full of foam and a blue toothbrush juts out from his bottom lip.

Wait.

"Brat" he starts, "I'm glad I created you with personal hygiene, but for the love of everything the Powerpuff girls are made of, is that _my_ toothbrush?" Eren simply looks at him with distant and disconnected eyes, and Levi can practically see a buffering sign over his head.

If this was the character meant to save mankind, the people of his novel were royally _screwed. _

Levi sighs, breaking the long silence as Eren stares ahead with glazed eyes.

"You need modern clothes. I'm shit at shopping and you're too busy being a moping potato to be of any help, so I'm calling Hange."

"Hange?" Eren snaps awake, eyes focusing suddenly. "You aren't coming with?" nervousness edges into Eren's voice and Levi snorts. Going out into a strange world with a stranger person was going to be an adventure, to say the least.

"No. Like I said, I'm shit at shopping." Levi repeats. "And I've got a novel to work on. Deadlines to meet, rough drafts to send in. Book sales slow to a stop eventually, and when the royalties from my first book run out I've gotta support myself somehow."

The look on Eren's face evokes memories of teaching Isabel long division, the familiar expression of pursed lips and wide eyes blinking once, twice, before Eren nods in a semblance of understanding.

"Oh, makes sense."

"You have no idea what I just said."

"Yeah, you got me." Something that faintly seems like a smile crosses Eren's face. The boy is still fiddling anxiously at the hemming of his cotton shirt, and Levi waves him away to finish brushing his teeth as he fetches his phone to dial for more-likely-drunk-than-not editor.

"Hange won't hurt you." Levi calls down the hall as the phone begins dialing. "Much," he whispers. "Just have fun, yeah? Ask about anything you want to know about our world, but make _sure_ you really want to know, because I can't tell you how many times I've been mentally scarred—"

"_Levi_! And to what do I owe this pleasure?"

Their voice is so chipper Levi pulls the phone away from his ear an arm's length away before cautiously bringing it nearer again.

"Hange. Inside voice, we talked about this. You're talking into a receiver, not ordering McDonalds through a drive-through."

He hears a soft "What the hell is a MacDonalds?" from the bathroom and sighs. He gave it two hours before Eren's cluelessness gets him kicked out of his new job. It's a humble establishment, but Levi's sure they have _standards_ of some sort.

"Oh, I'm sorry Levi, I drank a Red Bull earlier." Hange booms from the phone. "Guess it really gave me wings…of freedom! Haha, get it? Wings of freedom?"

Levi thinks he's going to throw out his back from all this sighing.

"Right, right, sorry. Did you want something? Is Eren still there?"

"Yes, Eren's still here, and he and the rest of the state can hear you because you're so loud. Anyway, I need a favour. I need you to come get Eren and take him _shopping_."

There's some sort of unearthly noise that comes from the phone, so loud it makes _Eren _cringe. Levi has flashbacks of accompanying Isabel (and a secretly enthusiastic Farlan) to some boy band's concert years ago. The shrieks the crowd emitted was at a decibel that could shame a banshee. His world was still shaking when Hange's emotional voice blares through the phone, "_**Levi**__**!**_"

"I already regret this."

"Oh, my little Levi, asking _me_ to take his little creation _shopping? _Not buying more note paper, or some reference book on the history of medieval torture or even anything related to writing but _shopping! _Oh Levi, Eren's having a fantastic influence on you already!"

"You know what? Nevermind, I'll—"

"Too late, no backsies. Give me fifteen minutes and I'll be there." _Click_.

Levi glances over, to see a fearful Eren peering from behind the doorjamb of the bathroom. He sends him a helpless shrug. Mere mortals were powerless in the presence of natural disasters like Hange anyway. (He supposed that's why hurricanes were named after humans).

"Guess the neighbourhood convenience store had a change of employees. Rookies don't know the danger of giving Hange energy drinks yet. Oh well, your problem."

x

Eren discovers that Hange isn't really all that bad, despite the initial meeting.

Exactly fourteen and a half minutes later, there are loud bangs from the front door, before Hange remembers that they own keys to Levi's apartment. The keys jingle and the lock clicks before the door flies open and Hange bounces in jovially. They greet Eren by invading his personal space, and then ignore Levi's complaints to close the door when they come in _goddamnit,_ opting to enter the kitchen to deposit more energy drinks in the fridge.

Eren has exactly one minute to pull on Levi's too small shoes before Hange pulls him out into the unknown.

- And the unknown? It's _amazing_. Spending time with an overexcited ball of energy meant that questions were explained and over-explained before he could even ask them. Some terminology flies over his head, but Eren can't find it in himself to mind. Hange's exuberance was infectious, and even if they initially seemed to always be two steps ahead of him, he soon realizes that he was chasing up and they were walking side by side by late afternoon. He ends up taking Levi's advice and tuning them out sometimes, too busy with the _lights _and _people _to be able to fully pay attention anyway.

The surroundings pass in a blur as Eren whisks through the city, hearing foreign noises like cars honking at them (and Hange screaming expletives back cheerfully) and taking in the amazing sights like a library that spanned three blocks (He thought of Armin but the sadness passed quickly). The effervescence of experiencing the city soon expells the brooding thoughts that enter his mind when he sits alone in the quiet of Levi's apartment.

Right now, there's no question that he's well and truly alive. Immersed fully in the streets, he should be part of this world now, one of the many people laughing and living in the city. But somehow, it feels like a farce.

He isn't real, or maybe he is, but he wasn't? Either way, he still feels no gravity, like he's a phantom that was simply biding his time in this world. It almost seemed too _good _to be true, a reality where no concrete walls would constrain you, would remind you that you lived in constant fear.

But what about home? His friends, his family, the _monsters? _Was it a blessing to have suffered so long to finally be told that the pain was fictional? All this time, the raw pain he felt at being orphaned so young was invalidated because he was a figment of an imagination. Even Mikasa, twice-orphaned, still "existed" in a realm of suffering while he was here in a supposedly "real" world.

He knows he's lucky though, despite this existential crisis that would soon pass. He _especially _knows as he eats the street fare known as a "hotdog", a simple treat that Sasha would have rightly treated as a luxury back home.

People his age were smiling, laughing, living. Born free as _they should be_. It was too good to be true.

And he was too young then, but he knew now, what Hannes meant as he cried into his fifth bottle of cheap liquor.

Survivor's guilt.

He hasn't cried yet. He's happy, has no right, absolutely no fucking right to cry on the smooth pavements, beside the undestroyed buildings, in the midst of the happiness he was surrounded with.

He stops in front of the building just to breathe anyway.

"You okay, bud?" Hange finally stops talking to notice him stare in awe, grinning themselves. "Aren't cities amazing? And I'm speaking as a person born right in the heartlands!"

He blinks and breathes. "Yeah, I… Yeah."

"Wait till night, when the lights come on, it'll be amazing!" they touch his arm, asking with an unusually gentle tone, "Shall we?" with a gesture to the store and he nods firmly, finally moving again toward the building.

The inside is noticeably more muted than the hustle and bustle of the streets. There's soft music playing from what seems like the ceiling, and Hange is babbling again but he's too distracted to pay attention until he's hit in the face by a shirt.

"Here's the men's department! Hey, go try that on. And this, and try this too." Eren ends up with a pile of t-shirts and tanktops and pants a mile high, staggering under its weight, as Hange opens the clasp on their wallet and pulls out a card that shimmers gold under the fluorescent lamps. "Go wild, buddy, Levi's taking care of the tab".

x

Eren's backed into a small room with a mirror at Hange's insistence, feeling panic begin to swirl before Hange helpfully calls from behind the thin plywood door

"Just lock the door and try on the clothes! I'll be waiting right out here."

There're shirts of all sizes here, and Eren isn't even sure Hange _looked _at what they picked up before tossing it at him. He opens the door after every outfit, letting them give their opinion—_Oh, oh no, harem pants don't…No., __Whoa okay __Pete Wentz called and he wants his extra skinny jeans back_, and _I'm sorry, I didn't realize I threw leopard print in there please forgive me._

He finally manages to create a style they like after what seems like _hours _of trying on clothes, a t-shirt with a plaid jacket thrown over it and some jeans. They raise an eyebrow.

"You actually pull of that look really well… Hey, come here." they motion him over and toss a knitted hat toward him, making gestures for him to put it on. Once he figures out how it's supposed to go, he earns a big grin from Hange.

"You really _do _do the hipster look well! I bet if we just got you a scarf you could..."

Eren can't suppress the lurch he feels at the mention of a scarf, and it must have shown, because Hange sputters in an attempt to retract what they just said, but the awkward silence is already settling over them.

Hange chokes at their own insensitivity. How could they have forgotten the blandly written female character that played the role of the main one's adopted sister from Levi's rough drafts? Eren looks the part of a disheveled teen as he toys with his shirt hem, refusing to make eye contact.

"Oh, Eren." they get up from their seat just outside the dressing room, moving toward him to envelope him in a hug. He stiffens at the touch. "I'm sorry, I didn't even think…. Of course you'd miss her, you still have your memories from the book, don't you?"

He hesitates before he answers. "Kind of. They're hazy, but they're coming back. It's not a big deal though; it was a crappy place so…"

"Eren, look at me." a beat, but he finally raises his gaze up. There's a determined look in Hange's eyes, one that could possibly rival his own. "We can fix this."

He flinches as Hange releases him, only to tug him to the cashier. "We'll just get Levi to create your friends too! His house is more than big enough, and besides they're all used to living together… It'll be fine!"

Eren shakes his head. "I don't know, I think he likes being alone. I don't even know if he can-"

"But that's exactly why he needs more people around!" they pile the clothes on the check out, passing the card over to the cashier. "He thinks he has 'aloof' charm or whatever, but honestly, he's just awkward. Last time he was invited for an interview, he stared at the interviewer so hard they forgot everything they were going to say to him because he _scared _them. He's a goddamn _disaster_. But if he had to deal with a bunch of people around all the time, it'd be so great for him!"

Hange slips the card back into the wallet once they things are paid for and plants their hands on their hips. "Come on, we need to get back as soon as we can! We'll settle with this first, we can always come back if we need more… Hurry, Eren!"

He's being dragged around once more before he can even process what's happening, to the car and then they're going so fast that Eren's clinging onto the seatbelt for dear life. Hange busts through Levi's door, tossing the three bags of clothes onto the couch without so much as a second glance.

"Levi, we need to talk to you!"

Hange's voice booms so loud that the neighbours probably hear it. Eren's eyes widen when Levi comes around the corner, hair tousled and squinting like he had just woken up. He looks so disoriented, it's slightly-

Eren swallows thickly and averts his gaze to the floor, fingers running along the hem of his shirt again. What a trainwreck _that _line of thought was leading him to.

"I thought you were _writing_." Hange says, crossing their arms. Levi sighs, and Eren thanks his lucky stars that neither of him noticed his weird behaviour.

"I was doing research."

"By _sleeping_?"

"I have a very active imagination; things come to life when I'm dreaming. Weren't you supposed to be _shopping_?" his voice is accusatory, still thick with sleep. Hange motions to the bags behind them and retorts, "We did shop. Stop acting like the grumpy old man you are and come look at what we bought. _Alsoyoushouldbringtherestofthecharacterstolife_."

It takes Levi a second to process what they said, and when it finally goes through he sighs and drops his hands to his side.

"I don't want to see them; and you know damn well I can't, Hange, I told you that ."

Hange frowns and shoots forward, dragging Levi a few feet back, out of earshot.

"Look, I know you tried last night, but we're going to _keep_ trying until it works"

Levi gives a defeated shrug. "Hange, I have no fucking idea how I even did it the first time. Can you two just put the clothes away and let me go back to my sleep?"

Hange hesitates for a moment, finally turning toward Eren. His face was impassive, but those green eyes dulled a little as he simply looked down again. They frown, with one last glance toward Levi.

"You're not getting out of this, Levi."

"Yeah, yeah."

"No, Levi, don't give me that, you _know _what's it like, don't you, what's Eren's going through?"

Levi stiffen and squares his shoulders at Hange's accusatory affront. "I'll try, alright? I solemnly swear to Hange, the nonbinary deity, that I shall continue with my efforts to bring forth fictional characters. _But you don't ever, __**ever**__ bring that up again._"

"I was kind of hoping to hear it without the sarcasm, but you called me a God so yeah that's good." Hange grins and ignores the veiled threat. They'll consider this a victory, although it was a risky move to poke at unhealed wounds. Desperate times. Turning toward the couch, they pick up two bags and toss the last one toward Eren. "Let's go organize your closet."

"Oh- Yeah, okay."

After they both trot off, Levi leans against a wall a pinches the bridge of his nose. Only with Hange would he put up with that much shit. Opening his eyes back up, he catches sight of something on the couch and frowns.

"Hey, you two forgot a scarf! Don't leave shit lying around my house."

There's a pause where nobody says anything and Levi scowls, about to open his mouth to repeat the statement. But before he can get any words out Hange pops out from the doorway of the room, eyes wide.

"Levi, we didn't buy a scarf."

His eyebrows pull together in confusion. "Well it's fucking _June _so it sure as hell isn't-"

Levi's sentence is cut off by Eren sprinting out of the room, barely missing slamming into the corner as he races toward the couch. He snatches the red scarf up, holding the material to his face, examining the stitches closely

Hange isn't too far behind, standing next to Levi to gape. "You made her scarf but not _her_?"

"Yes, abso-_fucking_-lutely Hange. I just knit in my free time. _What the fuck are you talking about_?"

Hange turns their attention back to the couch where Eren stands. "Eren, is it-"

"It's Mikasa's."

There's no doubt in his voice as he says it, clenching it tightly in his hands. It's ragged and worn down, exactly how it was in his mind. "So is she-?"

Then there's a single creak, from the upstairs.

Absolutely none of them move a muscle. They strain their ears in the silence, until Levi finally grumbles, "That better fucking be her, because this house is new and it shouldn't be creaking already. HEY WOMAN, DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING, YOU HEAR? "

Eren takes off, hollering as he goes. "Mikasa? Is that you? Answer me if you hear me!" He hits the first steps so hard that Levi's afraid he's going to crush through them with nothing but pure will. It's almost amazing to see it, the pure excitement and passion in his eyes- that fire that he took _so _much time describing finally showing up. Like a movie based off of one of his novels, with absolute perfect casting.

But he misses a step and Levi swears he doesn't remember writing _100% dork_ into his description as he starts to fall forward, obviously about to smack his face directly into the stairs. It's like a trainwreck, Hange gasps next to him but neither of them can peel their eyes away- especially when Levi knows he'll probably be cleaning up whatever blood spurts out of his soon-to-be-broken nose from this later.

The impact doesn't come. Eren slams his shoulder into the hardwood ground, but his head lands on something vaguely soft. He makes the mistake of looking up to realise that it was a pale arm, and he stills for a second.

"Oh God! Where's her body?" Eren screeches "Levi, she didn't make it here in one piece! Levi!"

From down the stairs, Levi flicks the attic light on to reveal a prone form that was very much intact, but previously concealed in the dark, and he rolls his eyes at Eren's cry of relief. "Is she all there?" He calls, and Eren replies slowly "Yes… but uh, do you think you could bring some clothes over?"

x

When she's clothed and laid down on the sofa, the trio simply circle the unconscious girl in silence. That is, until Hange breaks the silence by squealing.

"There, there she is! Mikasa _Yeager-_"

"Ackerman." Levi corrects before he can stop himself, and a sudden rush of pride wells up at the sight of Eren carefully brushing Mikasa's hair from her face. He gives Hange a shrug at their pointed stare, a clear signal for _'I'll explain later._'

"Now shush, I think she's waking up."

She is. Her head lolls to the side and she blinks slowly, trying to recognize the mysterious warmth enveloping her. She's happy to find her red scarf wrapped around her neck, and surprised to find her brother's arms wrapped around her in a hug.

The touching scene is cut short when Hange begins gleefully jumping up and down in unbridled excitement, and Mikasa sits up abruptly to pull Eren closer protectively.

"Oh, this is amazing, Levi, look at them! Hello, Mikasa, I'm sure you're a little confused right now, but we'll explain everything in just a tic, alright? Eren, be a dear and get your sister a glass of water."

Eren leaves Hange to perform the ritual of freaking out the new creation, while Levi sits by looking contemplative. He doesn't notice Mikasa's white pants that mysteriously appeared on the spotless tile until too late, and then they slip out from under his feet as the ground rushes up to meet his head and he hears no more.

x

When Eren comes to, he's staring at the ceiling.

His brain is jumpstarted by the panic, and his heart jolts with the first thought of- _the titans where is __… __outside__ the walls? Where's Mikasa and Armin and_-

And then suddenly everything comes back. the fact that he's a fictional character, the shopping, Mikasa being back. He feels the fist that he wasn't aware he was clutching loosen.

There's no direct danger, he's with his sister, and he's _safe._

There are voices that are still too muffled for him to make out as he makes his way to consciousness, and as he stirs they all suddenly stop.

"-Ren? Eren?"

He recognizes that voice vaguely, it's smooth and low, comforting, and most of all familiar. He blinks a few times as he realizes who it belongs to.

"Mikasa?"

He doesn't try to sit up, because the world is still spinning. All he can focus on without the nausea and the pounding headache setting in is Mikasa adjusting the pillow beneath him, that familiar concerned frown on her face. He could just _hug _her again.

"Glad to have you back, Eren." that voice belonged to Hange, sitting in a chair across from where he was laying… The couch, maybe? "But Mikasa's right, you need to lie back down. Levi's in the back washing up all the clothes that have been appearing out of nowhere. Way too much going on right now."

Things are slowing down, his heart slows in his chest until he can't hear it's frenzied pounding anymore. Mikasa's still staring down at him and he tries to ask her a question, but his throat is dry, so he remains quiet instead.

"They told me everything." her face betrays nothing, emotions fully under control as she slowly lifts him up with no apparent strain, bringing a glass of water to his lips. Her mask slips for a moment and he tries to read her- doubt? Hope? Relief? It's gone as soon as it came. "I guess it's true."

Eren focuses on the ceiling beyond her face, nodding silently.

"Do you know how you got here?"

"I don't remember anything." she admits. He nods.

"Yeah, me neither."

The sofa is so soft beneath him, the clothes he's wearing nothing like the coarse fabric of his uniform, that a sudden thought occurs to him. He slowly sits up, Mikasa's hand hovering on his back, and he swallows before asking "Do we get to go shopping again?"

There's a beat where no one says anything, before Hange lets out a loud laugh. "And here I thought you didn't like it! You looked exhausted the entire time!"

He glances down sheepishly, shrugging. "Well, the clothes part wasn't so bad, but seeing outside was…"

"_Ohh_. Of course, we'll go back outside. What, did Levi say he was going to lock you up in the house forever or something?"

Levi snorts, and the sound almost makes Eren jump. He had been so focused on Hange and Mikasa that he didn't even notice the other man's presence. When _had _he come back into the room?

"Actually, I told him to get a job. That's what you were supposed to go get clothes for, and instead you bought him an entire goddamn wardrobe."

Hange shrugs. "He needed it. And yeah, we will have to go get her clothes, but I guess we'll have to wait until tomorrow since it's night now… Oh, that's right!" suddenly clapping their hands together, they turn their full attention onto Levi. "Earlier I told Eren we could go see the city at night. If he's feeling up to it, we could all pile into my car and hang out at the park…"

Levi frowns but Eren pipes up before he can object. "And we can show Mikasa what it's like out there! It's so different, Mikasa, it's _incredible_."

All eyes turn onto the girl. She fidgets with her scarf, but her face remains impassive. "... Whatever Eren wants to do."

In an instant, both Eren and Hange are on their feet and pulling Mikasa and Levi to theirs. Levi looks mildly annoyed, but gets shotgun before anyone else can climb in as Eren and Mikasa pile into the backseat, kicking aside the empty cans of red bull while Levi gripes about the sorry state of the car.

The instant they exit the parking lot, Eren is talking about the things Hange had showed him earlier, repeating what he could remember. They were almost impressed with how much he had remembered. And Hange was just sure Eren was zoning them out most of the time! Driving through the city, they stop off at a deserted park, peaceful with all people gone so late at night. Eren struggles with the door handles as Levi comes around to open it up, feeling more and more every passing second like he had just adopted two _children_.

And truly, the look on Eren's face was nothing but childish wonder. It was so… Odd, to see character quirks he had added to him manifest in a world he was never meant for.

Well, technically this was "outside the walls" too, Levi guessed.

As Hange gave them the all-clear to snoop around and mess with as much stuff as they wanted here, Levi sat down on a bench and thought. Was this some sort of super power? He could just create people out of thin air? What if -

"So, ready to explain to me why you changed Mikasa's last name to _yours_?"

He rubs his temple as Hange takes a seat next to him, half their face obscured by the backlit fluorescent park lights. He fishes a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, lighting one up and taking a drag.

"Can't I have just _one _thought to myself without you interrupting?"

He says nothing more, but Hange waits, eyes glinting in the weak light.

"My sister."

The answer is blunt, and he doesn't look at them when saying it. Hange looks down and remains silent.

"I figured as much." They look up, inhaling deeply "I'm… Sorry, Levi. What I did just now, it wasn't fair on you. I know what it's like as well." The murmur as they link their pinkie finger with Levi's in a gesture of solidarity is low. "I'm not too sure this is an entirely healthy way to deal with it," they look at Eren and Mikasa, the former pointing up at a street lamp. "but I'm not going to tell you how to grieve. She's not her. Just remember that. You cut me off after two months of drinking myself blind, so expect nothing less from me."

Levi exhales, nodding slowly, but says nothing. The smoke floats up around them and hangs in the summer air, where other than the droning cicadas and Eren's excited voice, all is silent.

"Also, you should really quit that habit. It's disgusting."

"Shh, go bug the kids"

They grin, patting him on the back. "You're right, I'll leave you to your brooding, because when living with those two sets in," they point a thumb at the pair behind them transfixed at working the water fountain, "You won't have much time for that anymore"

They giggle as Levi slumps back into the bench, watching Hange traipse toward the other two and start pointing at something in the distance.

He fumbles in his pocket and pulls out a small key, the one to his drawer. This could be interesting.

Mikasa walks over solemnly and tugs on his sleeve.

"Father?"

"_Hange I told you to cut that shit out!_"

* * *

**A/N**: two updates in one week! i wouldn't hold my breath on this being a continuing trend, though I'd LIKE to be able to keep it that way. i'm having so much fun with this fic haha

before anyone asks about it (i'm sure it will come up in _someone's_ mind), the novel he's writing is pretty clearly SNK, BUT with differences. (like the fact that eren and co are 18.) there _are_ other differences, but they'll be revealed through the story and i don't wanna spoil anything! but if it seems like im leaving something out, there's a good chance it's deliberate.

anyway, thank you all so much for the positive feedback and interest i've gotten on the first chapter! i hope i can still hold everyone's attention!


	3. more than you bargained for

Levi pushes his hand roughly through his hair, the caffeine in his bloodstream only serving to agitate him more. The paper on his table remained frustratingly blank, save for the scattered indentations left by the incessant tapping of his pen.

God damn, he hated this.

Deciding to sit down and begin on Armin's character sheet had taken two hours of psyching himself up as it were. Levi had spent the better half of the afternoon agonizing over his dilemma and how it would affect the two other… Beings currently residing in Casa de Ackerman. Would it mess with their personalities? Memories?

He'd finally sat down and pulled his note paper out after a long deliberation, deciding that the consequences couldn't have been that bad, since Eren had remained more or less unchanged after Mikasa's arrival.

Even then, he still danced around the task of actually _creating _Armin, opting to rewrite the earlier scenes and fixing them first to warm up. As much as he hated to admit it, maybe Hange was right- having the two around put a lot of things into perspective. It was less _fiction _and more _biography_, maybe, but it worked. He'd spent the week observing the two as they went about their daily tasks, willingly initiating more conversations than he ever did in his life just to get a sense of their character and individual personalities. He was pleased to find that his new notes were much more comprehensive than the initial ones, with Mikasa and Eren's personalities being much more robust than they originally were.

To think that he almost brushed off Hange's critiques.

But, as it always did, the initial rush, the pleasure from his hand moving across the page and creating life slowed to a complete halt, his brain stubbornly protesting from scrambling to think of new things to add in, ways he could fix old scenes, ways to expand the novel into something more solid. He did better this time; three hours before the crashing waves of inspiration receded, leaving him with a dry shore of insipid drivel and overwhelming frustration.

Writer's block bites again.

Slamming the pen down, he leans back in his chair and lets out an irritated sigh, suddenly sensing another pair of eyes on him. He doesn't even need to look to know who it was.

"Eren."

He tips his head back over the chair to acknowledge the green-eyed kid was staring at him. For only _god _knows what this time.

He almost missed the zombie-eyed, quiet teen he was before being reunited with his sister. The curious and annoying boy that now routinely broke household appliances in his curiosity was beginning to prove a nuisance. He gave Levi a wide berth, as Levi had decreed when Eren was first created. _Thou shalt not disturb me when I'm writing, brat, _he remembered clearly, and so had Eren, apparently.

It just so happened that while Eren was gifted with an abundance childish curiosity, his temperance was more explosive than Hange's choice drinks on a Friday night. This was, of course, technically Levi's own fault, but he hadn't exactly created Eren for an existence where toasters were invented. The morning had ended with Levi explaining (loudly) for the thousandth time that appliances had to plugged in before they could properly function, causing a prickly Eren to storm out to the front porch, which of course Mikasa followed him out.

Eren could be given a B- for trying, at the very least. Mikasa, on the other hand, tended to regard modern technology as a nuisance, using it only if it was absolutely necessary. Hange wrote it off as an unwillingness to embrace this realm since she probably thought they were returning soon. Levi was sure she was just doing it to annoy him. He was lucky she hadn't tried to start a fire outside as an alternative to the toaster.

"Writing again?" Eren leans against the doorway as he watches Levi, arms crossed. Levi spins his office chair around and sends him a flat look.

"No, I was fucking finger painting a picture to hang on the refrigerator. Of course I was writing. What do you want?"

The comment doesn't pass without a spike of guilt, which quickly passes at the sight of Eren shrugging and walking into his room despite his curt dismissal. The unfinished novel still presents an _unprecedented _frustration and Eren's presence was beginning to prove more of an impediment than an aid.

"Nothing, I'm just… Bored."

_Bored_. He comes from a primitive time period without electricity, to a modern one filled with television and internet and a _million fucking things to do_ and he's _bored_.

"Where's Mikasa?"

"At work."

Eren's bitterness that Mikasa had gotten the job that he had applied for earlier is plainly painted on his face. It bugs Levi too. He'd much rather have Mikasa around the house than Eren. At least she left him be.

Levi sighs and turns back toward his paper. "Go turn on the TV then. Remember, it's the red button on the remote-that's the black thing-"

"Sounds like the thing I broke ten minutes ago. Hey, can I read what you're writing?"

Eren is dangerously close to being able to read over Levi's shoulder. Once Levi deems it a transgression of his personal space, he abruptly stands up and stares Eren down, a move he later admits would have been more effective if he could actually stare _down _on the boy who was a good head taller than him. Eren simply smirks and tiptoes just so he can peek over Levi.

That takes balls, and Levi's about 5 seconds away from cutting Eren's off.

"Back off."

"Make me" Eren's obviously itching for a fight, or any source of entertainment to remedy the boredom. He scoots closer still, and Levi scowls up at him.

"I'll bring Jean here next. Don't test me"

It works. Eren flops down into a chair adjacent to his own. He tries to sneak another look at the notebook, just as Levi flips it shut.

This kind of shit is _exactly _why he never likes writing in public.

"You're writing about me, right? Don't I get a say in how I'm portrayed?"

_For that, you're going to be portrayed as titan food within the fifth chapter_, Levi thinks sourly.

"As long as you're a _temporary _guest here, you don't really get a say in anything. Anyway, nobody reads the manuscript before Hange; We have an arrangement."

He fumbles for a moment as Eren sulks, obviously bored again, which spells property destruction of some kind within the next half hour. A thought suddenly occurs to him. He was living every author's wet dream, with his protagonist sitting in the very same room as him. He could ask him any question; have any scenario already given to him. The book was practically pre-written.

"Hey, Eren."

His gaze flicks back to Levi. "Huh?"

"What would you do if Armin was about to be swallowed whole by a titan?"

Eren's eyes flicker and darken with a cloud of hatred. Good, he recognizes the name even if Levi hadn't developed the character in detail yet, that's a start. "Rescue him."

An expected answer, but it's still not enough to work with.

"Alright, you've rescued him, now _you're _about to be eaten. What now?"

Eren's chest constricts, and it's becoming difficult to breathe in the room. His eyes get a distant, angry look in them. Levi silently drags his notebook closer to himself and while avoiding Eren's attention, slowly rolls the office chair away from the teen with a murderous glint in his eyes.

"I'd… I'd kill it. I'd _kill _it."

"Mmhm, How?" He ventures, scribbling down 'uselessly hardheaded' under a column with 'Eren Yeager' on the header. Eren is clenching the arms of his beautiful Danish-made chair so hard he's denting the hardwood. Levi grimaces.

"Better think fast, Eren, it's about to kill you-"

"I'd… I'd…"

"-and you're dead." Levi declares, slotting his notebook back into the safety of his drawers. Schooling his face into an unamused expression, he spins in his chair and dismisses in what he hopes is a voice that isn't _too_ shaky "Nevermind, I'll figure something out on my own."

But suddenly he's facing Eren's eyes, as the latter twists the chair around and cages him in. "No, I'll kill it. I'll kill it- Even from the inside I'll _fucking _kill it-"

Levi struggles to hold Eren's gaze, unwilling to back down. He'd be lying if he wasn't about piss himself right there, but his pride held him steady. _You created him; you're the one in power here. _Still, his trembling hands belied his bewilderment at the pure, unbridled passion and hatred in just one soul. Levi quickly realizes that if he doesn't want one _berserk _teenager in his house he'd better do something to distract him, fast. Something- Another question, maybe-

"What would you do if Mikasa tried to kiss you?"

It's the first thing Levi can think of that will throw him off, far enough from the current topic at hand but not too much of a shift either. And it works. Eren's jaw slacks as he blinks in confusion, the fire from his eyes replaced with complete befuddlement. He releases his death grip on Levi's chair, straightening and crossing his arms.

"What?"

"I think you heard me, Yeager." He replies, trying to even his breathing past the roar of blood pounding in his head. _Do not mention titans around him. _He makes a mental note. When he thinks the adrenaline has ebbed away enough, he repeats with an amused lift on his lips, "What would you do if Mikasa tried to kiss you?"

It's such a juvenile question, like something that a preteen would ask at a slumber party. But it was the first thing that popped into his head and, besides, maybe he had slightly thought about adding in a romantic subplot. The story would be fine without it, in his opinion, but if it was subtle enough and drew in more readers… It might be an okay addition. People ate that shit up.

"I… Nothing?"

Levi raises an eyebrow and retrieves his notebook and pen.

_Passive lover with very liberal morals, _he scribbled

"No, wait, I meant- I…"

Eren fumbles and stumbles over his own tongue, looking so absolutely lost that Levi almost felt bad for asking the question at all.

"I've never even thought about- Why would she even do that? I mean, we're like, we're family?" his eyebrows are drawn in so far he looks genuinely upset. Levi sighs.

_Never even thought about it; Until now. _ Levi suppresses a smile as he nonchalantly says "I guess I'll go ahead and add romantically oblivious to your character page-"

"Hey, I'm not romantically oblivious!"

Now the boy huffed indignantly, scowling and puffing up his ruddy cheeks. Levi was glad for the boy's temperamental nature. He'd successfully veered away from Eren's previous thundering rage in less than fifteen minutes.

"I've just never thought about that before."

"You're eighteen."

"She's _family_."

Levi clicks his tongue. "Alright, then. Sasha?" Eren hums bemusedly and Levi puts it down as a plausible . "Christa?" Eren continues humming, looking quite amenable to the prospect. "Ymir?" The humming turns frantic as his hands shoot up in the universal symbol of _Please Don't Hurt Me _and he shakes his head furiously.

Levi pens down _Shows signs of instinctive common sense._

"Well, that one's probably good because she's ga-"

He cuts himself off.

"Jean."

He's scrutinizing Eren's face, as it shifts from a shocked expression to a vaguely offended one.

"I-What, _no_!"

"Why?"

"He has the worst personality in the world. He's a _dick_."

"What about his appearance, though?"

Eren blinks at him for a few seconds.

"He has a horse face."

"Long faces are considered attractive."

"Yeah, in this world, maybe."

He flicks his hand and shoos the boy away, turning to read through his notes again. This entire thing was doing wonders for his writing (Just like Hange said, he admits reluctantly) and it was proving to be a great source of amusement for him and Eren both. Anything that prevents the boy from threatening to throw any more kitchen appliances out the window was alright in his books.

He feels something tickling his nape and spins round to see Eren hovering behind him

"I'm not romantically oblivious – Cancel – Ow! Don't pinch me!—Cancel that!."

"_Okay_, Eren."

Eren simply _tsks _and walks away.

x

Eren's sitting on the couch when Levi finally slinks out of the room for a snack and hour later, stretching as he walked. He finds the boy huddled up in a blanket and so immersed in the TV that he jumps when Levi approaches.

"Glad you found something to do and got out of my hair."

"Shh." he replies, scowl on his face. "This is interesting."

Levi frowns at the television. "Is that Adam Sandler?"

Eren glares at the glowing box, refusing to turn to face Levi. "No, his name is Henry! Now Shh!"

"No that's definitely… You're watching _50 First Dates_, aren't you."

Eren remains silent, transfixed as a blonde actress enters the scene, confirming Levi's thoughts.

"I'unno. Found it under _Romance_." Eren confesses as a commercial comes on. "Because, you know, I'm not romantically oblivious."

Levi almost spits. "You're _still _hung up on—You know, never mind." He says as he saunters to the kitchen.

"Get popcorn! We're finally going to see if he's really going to leave her!"

x

Mikasa returns to see Eren sprawled out on the couch while Levi stares incredulously, his eyes flicking back and forth from Eren to the screen.

"Are you _really _into this?"

Eren doesn't break his gaze away from the screen, shovelling buttery popcorn into his mouth.

"Yes, because people who _aren't_ romantically oblivious are 'into this'. People like _me_."

"Why does it bother you so much that I said that?"

Eren's too caught up in the movie to give him a response.

x

Once it hits 2AM, and he's sure the kids were in bed, Levi pulls out the character sheets and starts to work again.

He felt like a filthy, guilty junkie, turning to creating more characters as he desperately staved off the next wave of his writer's block. He was convinced this was a good idea though. Interviewing Armin was bound to go much better than the afternoon's disaster with Eren.

All things considered, he didn't have much to lose, and by two thirty in the morning, Levi's easily completed a page describing Armin's appearance. Armin always had been more vivid to him for some reason, smaller and with less muscle than his two companions, but with the critical thinking skills to make up for it.

Levi remembers how Hange retells their past, as a child that was incredibly precocious from a young age, choosing to isolate themselves to read rather than play with the other students. Bright-eyed and bullied. Sharp minded and shoved around.

Resourceful and revengeful.

Levi sighs wistfully as Armin comes to life effortlessly beneath his pen. He'd never tell, but Armin encapsulates all that Levi admires in Hange ever since he met them in his early twenties. The character sheet practically completes itself by three am.

If only he could write the novel at this speed.

He holds it up and examines it. Now it was just a matter of time- hopefully, though, this one wouldn't arrive naked. Locking it up in the drawer, he stretches and shuffles off to his room.

Levi's just crawling into bed (with minty breath and a clean face, per his nightly routine) when there's a high-pitched shriek from one of the other bedrooms. He hits the floor and throws open the door to the hallway so hard it slams against the bedroom wall. Nobody's fucking with _his _creations. He hesitates before barging into one of the rooms, adrenaline pumping and unsure which it came from- but Eren staggers out from his, wide-eyed and dazed, staring at Mikasa's room.

Taking this as his hint, he slams open her door and flips the light-switch on, gaping at what he sees.

There's a blonde sprawled out on the floor, one leg still resting on the bed. He's face down, but the blond mop of hair gives him away. Mikasa's staring down at him like she's just seen a ghost, a piece of two-by-four-_where'd she even get that_?-still raised over her head. Eren bursts in just a few seconds after Levi, pausing next to him as he takes in the scene himself.

Levi's heart is still slamming so hard he can feel it in his ears as it finally registers what's happened. "Put that down, Mikasa. How many people do you plan on knocking out?"

Blinking, she obediently places the wood in Levi's outstretched hands and crouches next to the unconscious boy, lifting his head up.

"It's… Armin."

Eren swoops down, but Mikasa easily lifts Armin and places him on the bed.

The trio stare and frown down on Armin's prone form for a moment.

"Do you think I gave him a concussion?"

x

Levi moves on autopilot after that, feeling every bit like a father figure as the two _conscious_ brats wait by the sleeping Armin, who awakened earlier and showed no signs of cognitive damage before falling back asleep.

Levi watches the time carefully. It took a night for Eren to materialise, four to five hours for Mikasa, sans clothing.

He wrote Armin up an _hour _ago.

Levi paces up and down his hall, wondering if he should notify Hange of this observation, but decides not to risk a midnight visit from his boisterous editor.

He pauses in his worrying to see a bleary Eren shuffle back into his room with a quiet "G'night", before Mikasa pops her head out and says, quite authoritatively "Go to bed, I can watch Armin by myself."

Her voice doesn't bode any question, and Levi's not in a state to argue as he shrugs and slips into bed, falling asleep almost instantaneously.

Until he's woken by a frantic Eren, who's shaking him by his forearm a mere hour later.

"…I am going to skin you until you look like the Colossal Tita—"

"Okay, okay, after you hear me out, okay? I mean, I'm not _scared_ or anything but uh, what if, say, Armin loses his memory? Like – Like Lucy! From that show earlier? I mean, what if. What. If. Me and Mikasa have to spend the rest of our _lives—"_

Levi flops onto his belly and screams into his pillow.

x

"Levi. He… Is… Perfect!"

In the end, Levi gets one continuous hour of sleep before Hange arrives at six in the morning. Not because they got a tip off that Armin was created, but because they just _decided to drop by. _Levi's drowning his sorrows into his coffee, simply because he has a no-alcohol-before-two-pm policy. But seeing Hange bouncing on their heels and throwing a million questions a minute at Armin, Levi decides that it has to be past two in _Singapore_ or somewhere across the world where he'd rather be, and breaks out the whiskey.

When the alcohol has sufficiently warmed his frosty outlook on life, he's pleased, and unsurprised by how quickly Hange takes a liking to Armin. It was hard to notice, with Hange being the overenthusiastic person they were, but there was a shine in their eyes that wasn't present when Eren was introduced.

Levi knew that look. People got it when they read a good book.

The look when they realise they aren't alone.

Armin, on the other hand, is beginning to fidget and squirm under the attention, and Levi clicks his tongue.

"Hange, stop. He probably has a concussion from last night."

"Oh, no, I think he's fine." they pause from shooting questions at him, turning to look at Levi. "He's answering all of these very coherently. As a matter of fact, he's taken to this the best out of everyone."

Armin manages a weak smile, which was still better than Eren's look of abject horror the first time he met Hange. Levi wonders if Eren and Mikasa pre-empted him prior to Hange's interrogation.

"I, uh.. Well, my head _does _sort of hurt…"

It's an obvious attempt to break away from Hange for at least a moment, a silent plea for help. It doesn't go amiss by Mikasa. She sends Hange a dark look from her spot beside Armin, and when it's gleefully overlooked, she redirects it to Levi. He sighs and shoots a glance toward Eren, who had his head resting in his palm, eyes unfocused. He obviously didn't get any sleep after last night's fiasco, and any functioning neurons in his titan-obsessed head were probably still trying to figure out ways to prove he wasn't romantically oblivious.

Grunting, Levi finally stands up. _Taking one for the team_, he thinks bitterly, gulping down his whiskey before grabbing Hange's ponytail and tugging just hard enough to get their attention again.

"Let's go down to the cafe and let these three catch up."

Hange frowns, eyes drifting back toward Armin. "But-"

"_Editor-Author meeting_." he slurs, eyes bloodshot and voice equal parts desperate and homicidal. Hange makes a small whine at the back of their throat and they turn back toward Armin with a sympathetic look.

"Sorry, guess it's an emergency. But I have a lot more questions! You seem to know more than these two, anyway- Ow, Levi! _Anyway_, I'll talk to you more late- Okay, okay, I'm _coming_!"

Levi doesn't look backward as he tugs Hange out the door, shutting it behind them.

"Stop fucking freaking them out after they've only been conscious for an hour. It's weird."

"Well if _**I**_ don't start the conversation, no one will! Between you, Mr got-a-stick-but-need-a-dick-up-my-ass, Miss and Mr Murder, and Little Genius Murder Jr. in there, I'm the only _normal _one!"

Levi's too tired to choke on the irony.

Hange breaks the silence, "He was fine anyway. What are you, an overprotective _father_?"

Levi suppresses the urge to dry-heave "Maybe I wouldn't have to drag you away every time if you'd do your job as honorary godparent and stop acting as if you were trying to dissect them or something." Before Hange begins full on sulking, he sighs.

"By the way, I tried talking to Eren about the book last night."

Their eyes light up once again. "And? What happened?"

"He went berserk; I definitely won't be doing it again. I thought maybe he was going to start attacking the furniture or something. He's like… A hamster. Very angry and vicious, but not at all intimidating." Levi lies through his teeth, and is pleased to see that Hange doesn't hold back a laugh at that.

"Your metaphors are terrible. How'd you calm him down?"

"By confusing him." Levi pauses, looking down at the ground. "I think he's starting to pick up characteristics I didn't write into him."

Hange pulls a face. "Really? Well… Maybe that would make sense. People change and adapt to their surroundings." Hange goes quiet, and smiles, "It's all so interesting!" Hange waits a beat, before asking, "... But what makes you think that?"

"Because he's gay, and I wrote _nothing _about his sexuality."

Hange stops and stares then, dead serious.

"You can only write what you know, Levi"

"What, do I _write _gayly?"

They give him a very serious look. "Do you?"

"Shut up, Hange."

Their lips twitch upward, suddenly mischievous. "So how exactly do you know he's gay? Did you-"

"No."

They burst out laughing, then shift back to serious again.

"Wait, would it be like… Selfcest if you did though? Mindcest? _Is it technically masturbation_?"

The city's pastor passes by them and shoots the pair a dirty look. He goes ignored by both of them.

"Why yes, Hange, according to Freudian theories, my narcissism has broken the laws of physics in my thirst to bone myself."

Their eyes widen as though Levi's words were an epiphany.

"Oh my god. That's actually plausib—"

"No Hange. No it isn't."

The café comes into view just a block away, and Hange deliberately bumps into Levi lightly.

"C'mooon, you have to admit he's cute at least. You did a good job in that department."

"He's mentally unstable."

"We're all mad here" Hange quips, and when Levi glares, they simply smack him on his back good-naturedly.

"I'm just messing with you! Why so serious?"

He doesn't bother dignifying that with a response, instead opening up the cafe door for them.

"Hurry up, four-eyes. I'll pay for your coffee since I dragged you out here."

They give him a good-natured grin. "So generous as always, Levi."

* * *

**A/N**: aaaaand the golden trio is complete!

i'm having way too much fun with this fic to be honest. i know im building the romance super slowly, but i promise it is headed in the ereri direction! it'll pick up speed pretty soon.


	4. we're the new face of failure

"Hey Armin, lemme see that."

Eren is flat on his stomach, chin resting on top of his hands as he watches his blonde friend tap away at a device on the other end of the bed. The request makes Armin look up, skeptism flashing on his face before he turns his attention to the device once more.

"According to my calculations and corroborated evidence from Levi, you break 98% of all devices you touch. So that's a no from me."

With an overly dramatic groan, Eren flops onto his back and spreads his arms out. Of _course _Levi said that about him. For someone who wanted Eren out of his hair as long as possible, he sure was stingy with the entertainment.

"Fine, I won't touch," Eren says as he scooches over to lie beside Armin, "Just show me what you're doing."

Armin rolls his eyes at Eren's dramatic display, but relents anyway. "Well, I doubt you can break it with your _eyes_. Here," he moves his hand across the screen, and Eren leans up on his elbows. He watches with fascination as Armin's fingers flitter across the screen, alternating between tapping on several buttons and scrolling at a dizzing speed, all while explaining in that level voice of his each program or file. He'd learnt all this in a week, while Mikasa and Eren still had limited success operating the dishwasher.

"…And this is my personal favourite. It's like a… Place with tons of information. Much more than the old libraries we had back home." Armin says, his voice betraying no homesickness.

He swipes his fingers across the screen again and types in a few words. '_Pancake recipes_'. The screen fills up immediately, words upon words upon _words _that just looking at made Eren's head hurt.

Yeah, Armin could keep his digital library.

"How're there that many… words on there, anyway? Is it like a big book? How does it _work_?" Eren makes an attempt to reach for it, but Armin pulls it away, out of his reach.

"Well, it's like, uh…."

Eren stares at him expectantly, crossing his arms.

"... Magic?"

At Armin's lame finish, Eren snorts. Not even Armin knew how it worked-

- Unless it really was magic. They were already fictional characters, nothing else could surprise him anymore.

"All this amazing cool magic and you decide to do nothing but read?" Eren rolls his eyes, dodging a pillow that Armin chucks at him. "Hey, don't be mad because it's true!"

"At least I have something to do other than stare at the walls all day." Armin retorts, holding his hand up before Eren can say anything back. "And don't argue, the only thing you've taken any effort in trying to learn in this world is the _TV_."

Eren sits up now, crossing his arms. "At least it has pictures! And they _move_, too."

"Get a hobby." Armin retorts, and falls silent, captivated by the glowing screen again.

Eren groans and grabs the pillow, smothering his head with it as he flops backwards onto the mattress again. "You've been hanging around Mikasa too much. Both of you two need to-"

Abruptly, he cuts his sentence off as he hears a noise from nearby. A noise he recognizes well, by now, the high pitched ringing that haunts him. He presses himself further down into the mattress, closing his eyes and murmuring,

"_She's back_."

The boys wait with bated breaths, both stock still on the bed as the the ringing stops and is replaced by a high-pitched _beep_, as a voice comes from beyond the bedroom door:

"_Answering machine again!? Leeeevi, stop ignoring me! Seriously, or I'm going to come bust down your door.__ These heels can do some serious damage, don't even try me. Am I supposed to believe that tale Hange fed me about you__ conveniently __losing your cell phone and having your landline disconnected at the same time? You're the __**worst**__ best man ever! __ Seriously, the wedding is coming up really soon and Hange says you still don't have a date and Farlan doesn't seem worried but __– Farlan why are the roses there yellow? No, no, no don't touch that__—__Am I doomed to be plagued with useless men for the rest of my life__? __Call me before I do something we'll both regret, __**brother. **__**Bye**__._"

Another _beep _signals the end, and Eren releases a breath and opens his eyes again. "Armin. Is she gone?"

Armin breathes in once, twice, before slowly answering, "…I think so"

"You heard that, didn't you? That girl, the bride, she said she's coming- do you think it's a ghost? Did Levi almost get married and then kill his bride at the last second?"

Armin frowns and tucks the tablet in his arm, uncomfortably staring at the door before tapping on the screen, collecting as much information on exorcising home appliances.

x

By the time Levi walks through the front door, Eren is barely clinging onto consciousness as the credits of yet another movie roll. Levi scowls at him as he unclasps the heavy metal watch from his wrists and lays it gently on the counter.

"Go sleep in your own room if you're that tired. And God help me, if you leave crumbs on my sofa again, I'll skin and tan your hide for my new sofa cover." Levi grumbles as he stomps over to the coffee table, snatching up a few snack wrappers that Eren hadn't thrown away yet. He shifts, looking up at Levi from his place on the couch.

"'M sorry. Was gonna do it later."

"Oh, I'm sure the bugs will understand. After all, bacteria understand the three second law, don't they?" he snaps, checking under the table for any wrappers that might have fallen off. "Between Armin on my tablet all day and you turning into a TV-zombie, my electricity bill is going to be sky-high."

He only gets a yawn in reply.

This god-damned brat.

Levi hesitates, caught between forcing Eren off the couch or just leaving him there. He considers Eren's bulkier, lanky frame and gets the distinct impression that if he tried to roll him off the couch he'd probably just fall back asleep on the floor next to it. Carrying him was totally out of the question.

He continues to glare at him as Eren's breathing evens out, not even noticing the way his own harsh stare softened into curiosity as the other drifted back off. Eren was… Pouting?

He had almost mistaken it for discomfort at first, the way his brows arched slightly and his lips turned downward. But he wasn't shifting to try and make himself more comfortable, and his bottom lip stuck out just a tiny bit. He wasn't uncomfortable, he was pouting.

In his _sleep_.

If Hange had been there, they probably would have been screaming over how _cute _it was. And as much as he tried to reassure himself that thought only popped into his head because it was something Hange would say, he can't bring himself to admit that it's not.

He drops the wrappers onto the coffee table, willing it not to crinkle as he bends slowly and moves at a glacial pace towards the sleeping boy. _Only for writing purposes, only for writing purposes_, he repeats in his head. It isn't creepy if it's helping him further analyze his main characters, is it?

Oh, what the hell ever. It wasn't like he had anyone to explain his actions to. _Damn _it.

He turns his head away and exhales slowly, trying to rationalize away his clammy palms and erratic heartbeat. Hange had planted something in his brain that he couldn't get out, and against his will that freaky little seed was growing into a long vine that twined around all his thoughts.

"Levi?"

Levi stumbles backwards, quickly turning to gather the scatters wrappers and straightening himself quickly, striding to the kitchen bin.

"What."

Another yawn. "Can we go somewhere tomorrow? It's boring around here."

Levi ponders as he steps on the foot pedal to open the bin's lid. "No laser tag," he replies slowly, still shrouding his face in the dark of the kitchen. When he finally turns to face Eren, the only light in the apartment is the sharp glow of the television casting a white light over Eren's face, illuminating his hair like a halo. Hard to believe this was the puppy like boy that caused rampant destruction if he was confined without a steady source of entertainment for too long. If Hange was around, he'd just send him out with them, but they were gone for the weekend. _Business_.

But Eren _has_ been getting a little too curious about the microwave, and it was making Levi nervous. "... Fine. We're leaving in the morning, so you better have your ass in gear. I've got errands to run anyway."

Eren's head flops back down before Levi can tell him to take his ass to his own room. With a sharp exhale, he grabs the throw-blanket laid across the top of the chair and tosses it on him, turning off the TV as he exits the living room.

x

Levi idly wonders if anyone would call the police if he started keeping Eren on a leash in public. He finally decides against it, seeing someone give him an odd look as they walk by. What, did he say that out loud?

Mikasa serves just about the same purpose anyway, always a few steps behind him. Fortunately, her childish wonder had faded soon after appearing, reverting her back to the more level headed one between Eren and Armin. And Armin, while he probably wouldn't try and dive into the fountain with the colored lights that changed the hue of the water, was not always strong or fast enough to make sure _Eren _wouldn't.

Maybe he should get her that pocket knife she's been eyeing for the past week.

His eyes flicker past the shops as they walk by, trying to decide where to go next. He half considers going into a shop and buying all three of them cheap pay-phones, except that would mean a bunch of kids born in an era with _cannons _as the most advanced technology texting each other, and that's not quite a step Levi's ready to make.

"Levi, I'm hungry."

He knew it was coming.

"What do I look like, your parent? Mikasa's got money; you mooch off of me enough."

Mikasa places a hand protectively over her pocket, her glare communicating just how enthusiastic she was about her brother dipping into her savings.

Hange couldn't come back home fast enough.

Sighing, his eyes wander across the street, landing on the pizza shop just catty-corner.

"... You guys ever had pizza before?"

The blank faces at the question give him his answer, and he almost has to bite down a grin. Not that _he_ was particularly fond of the overly-greasy, messy food, but the thought of a couple teenagers never having eaten a slice was almost laughable. He points to the shop, waving them over so they can see.

"Then I guess you're in for a treat."

x

Levi immediately regrets his decision when he walks into the restaurant and sees the back of an all-too-familiar redhead, stealing bits of pepperoni from her companion's plate.

Shit.

He ducks behind Eren before Farlan can see him, gritting his teeth. Just his luck, to run into someone he'd been avoiding.

… Not that he had any real excuse for avoiding her. At first it had been _I don't feel like talking about your wedding right now_, to_ I don't feel like talking to you about me avoiding your wedding right now_, to _Maybe if I change my phone number you'll forget I exist_.

He was just digging himself a deeper hole each time he didn't pick up the calls, he _knew_, but as much as he loved Isabel he just had to be in the right mood to deal with her. How Farlan did it all the time, (and was willing to do it for the rest of his life), he'd never know.

Eren twists around to give him a confused look, but Levi shoves him forward and shakes his head. "Block me from view while I pay, we can eat outsi-"

"Levi?"

_Fuck_.

Levi's too busy grimly accepting his unlucky fate to notice the way Eren stiffens at her voice. He steps out from behind the brunette as Isabel comes barrelling toward him, eyes flashing with a range of emotions- most dangerously _anger_.

"So you _are_ alive! What, is your phone broken? No don't bother, I know it isn't. You should have known you can't just brush off my calls forever-"

"Isabel."

"- are you mad at me or something? You don't have to be the best man, if you really don't want, but you can't just _ignore _us-!"

"Isabel!"

Levi's voice raises as he snaps at her, making everyone in the vicinity turn their heads. Even the redhead herself looks a little surprised at his tone. "Give me a chance to speak."

Out of the corner of his eye, Eren sees the man Isabel was with rise out of his chair and start towards them. He pauses just within earshot as Levi starts up again, placing a hand on the bridge of his nose and squeezing.

"You're such a _brat_, the reason I wasn't answering my phone is because I knew you'd make a scene out of it, like you are now- _No, stop, I'm talking right now_- and also because I've kind of… Had my hands full with stuff. I didn't need you over at my house, too."

"Too?" Isabel echoes, her green eyes suddenly darting to the trio beside Levi as if she just noticed their presence. Suddenly something clicks with Eren and he jerks backward, almost hitting the door.

"_You're_ that ghost!"

As they all turn to face him at the outburst, Eren glances desperately at Armin for confirmation. The only look he sends back is one of utter loss- a look that's so unfitting for him it's almost painful. Isabel looks caught somewhere between asking Eren _what the hell_ or simply turning to Levi for an explanation, when Mikasa finally pipes up.

"Excuse my brother." she says, her voice even. "He watches too many horror flicks at night."

Levi really, _really _didn't give Mikasa enough credit.

Farlan takes advantage of the confusion to sneak up behind the fuming redhead and rest his chin on the top of her head, which makes Levi note with amusement that her eyes soften despite the scowl still aimed at him. Leave it to Farlan to diffuse a situation.

"What's goin' on here?"

Isabel clicks her tongue against her teeth, but doesn't bother to duck away from him. "This _might-as-well-be-a-stranger_ walked into here, and I was just doing some old catching up."

The look she sends Levi could make plants shrivel up and die, but he knows that there's no real malice behind it. Farlan sighs, moving from behind her to stand beside. "Haven't you bugged him enough, with the 20-some phone calls?"

She scoffs. "Just whose side are you on here, anyway?'

"Neither. The poor, abused groom's side that has to play mediator between you two, actually."

"Oh, good, why don't you go start up a movement against grooms that have to side with their brides during arguments." she slides away from him a few inches, and he's relieved to see that somehow, nothing has changed between them despite the romance. "I just wanted to know why he was avoiding us."

"And I told you."

"_Shh_, Levi, this argument isn't with you!" she turns away from Farlan and snaps, making Levi roll his eyes.

"But it's _about _me?"

She narrows her eyes dangerously and turns back to snap at Farlan some more, with Levi adding in a comment every so often and eliciting another snarky response from the girl. Armin, Eren and Mikasa all watch this with varying levels of confusion and interest, before Armin finally sighs.

"They all seem close."

Eren almost asks Armin to repeat himself as his eyes dart back to the other trio, still bickering. But he realizes what he said is true- arguing in the middle of a pizza public place or not, there's no venom behind any of the snarky comments or glares. By the end of it, Farlan and Isabel are even grinning, albeit the latter somewhat mischievously.

"So you're still going to be the best man?"

"Were you not listening at all? Trim the hairs growing out of your ears, Isabel. Of course I am."

She makes a short _tsk _noise, crossing her arms over her chest. "I don't have hair growing out of my ears! And good, don't forget to bring a date. You can't be _that _loser. Bring Hange if you have to."

"I'm not bringing them anywhere."

"Then figure something else out. That's your problem, not mine. Also, hey, who are the kids?"

Her eyes flicker back to the other trio, and Levi whips around as if he just remembered their original purpose here. He pales as he fishes for an excuse, obviously not prepared for that question.

"... Family friends. They're staying with me for awhile."

"_Oh_?"

Levi frowns at the sound of her voice as she scans the three closely for the first time.

"Yes. And that's it, Isabel. This is Mikasa, Eren, Armin."

"I didn't even imply anything else." she nods at each of them as he introduces them begrudgingly, as if it was the last thing on Earth he wanted to do. "Hey, if you guys are already here, why don't we eat together? That way we could-"

"Our food is going take-out." Levi interrupts her before she can even finish her sentence. "We'll have to catch up some other time, Isabel."

She doesn't look totally convinced, but lets it go anyway. "Fine. Now you owe me times two." directing her attention back toward the three behind him, she adds, "And you two are welcome to come to my wedding too, as long as you'll still be in town next month!"

"... We don't have anywhere else to go." Mikasa answers honestly, and Levi internally groans. Why is she only good at picking up what she needs to say _half _of the time…?

Isabel doesn't look like she thinks anything of it though as she nods back. "Great! You're all invited, no matter what Mr Grump over there says. The more the merrier."

Casting one last look over the three of them, she turns back to Levi and wraps her arms around him. "And you, stop being so distant, 'cause we miss ya and I haven't gotten to see you much lately."

"Alright, alright." he backs up out of her grasp, suddenly remembering they were in public again. "We need to order before we cause more of a scene. I'll talk to you guys later."

"And answer your phone calls?"

"And answer my phone calls."

With a satisfied grin, Isabel bounces back to her table with Farlan not too far behind.

x

When they get home, Levi writes a sticky note to himself and leaves it on his desk-_ Don't ever go back to that pizza place again_. After what the employees saw, he doubts he'd even need reminding, but just in case.

"... So, were they friends of yours?"

Levi wishes he could say he's surprised to see Eren in the doorway to his office again, but with the teen's recent habit of following him around he's really not. He sighs.

"Yeah. We go way back."

"And they're dating each other? Doesn't that make your friendship a little weird?" it almost isn't even worded as a question, as if there's no doubt to it at all. Levi sends Eren a look as the other enters the room and sits down in his usual place.

The fact that Eren has a _usual place_ in _his _office makes him frown.

"Not really. They don't act all that different."

Eren sends him a look like he doesn't believe him, and Levi's about two seconds from kicking him out and sentencing him to another lonely night of romantic comedies by himself when he speaks up again. "I guess I thought it'd be weird, cuz, if Armin and Mikasa started dating or something… I just wouldn't want to be the third wheel left out without anyone."

Levi makes a little noise in the back of his throat, one that could almost be mistaken for a laugh. "Eren Jaeger, are you trying to imply that I'm jealous or lonely? Hange and you three are handfuls enough as-is, I'm already too busy for anything like that."

Eren is silent after that, making Levi frown after a few moments of absolutely no response. "Oh, Jesus. I mentioned romance again and put your brain into overdrive. Do you want my debit card so you can go rent more romantic comedies and get it out of your system again?"

Either Eren doesn't notice the mocking tone in Levi's voice, or just ignores it as he shakes his head. "I don't need to get anything out of my system! I was just comparing it to my own situation, that's all. I figured it'd be weird."

"It's different for you. Good to know you don't want your sister and best friend to fuck though, that makes you considerably more normal than I thought you were."

Eren releases a strangled noise. "Don't put it like that!"

"You're the one putting way too much thought into this. Is that some sort of character flaw I should fix?" Levi teases, not even trying to suppress his smile now.

Eren scowls, silent again, before finally looking down.

"... Can you do that?"

Levi drops his smile

"Can you fix us? Change us by writing it on paper?"

"You don't need to be fixed or changed." Is what Levi settles on, choosing to leave out the lurching guilt that pounced on him at the thought of altering a living, breathing person's personality like removing stuffing from a rag doll.

"... You could still try it though"

Levi looks up to meet Eren's eye again, frowning. Was Eren dissatisfied with a part of his personality? Levi tried not to take it too personally, even if he was the one that tailored said personality in the first place. He sensed an undercurrent of emotions within the boy that he wasn't prepared to delve into right now. There was even challenge in his voice. _Do it, _it nudged, _ you've already created us, why not go all the way and see how much more you can do? _

"... o." he mumbled, turning back toward his desk. Eren tilted his head.

"No." He said, trying hard to keep his voice from wavering again. Eren took a step back, and didn't make a move to try and reply, but the strained atmosphere is unrelenting.

"We have to go meet Hange at the airport tomorrow. It's late. Go sleep."

There's a pause again, before Eren nods.

"... Yeah. Good night, Levi."

But Levi doesn't sleep that night.

* * *

**A/N**: changing all the chapter titles to fall out boy song lyrics because my beta suggested it to me back when i first did it and i was like _nooo i cant do that_ and now she wont stop sending the edited word files to me with fall out boy names haha. i GIVE I GIVE.

sorry for slow updates! been busy preparing for college (and maybe replaying persona 3 and 4. that's also a possibility) thank all of you guys for being patient and not spamming me with WHEN ARE YOU GONNA UPDATE, though. :)


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